When Your Child Says “I Don’t Want to Go”
It’s a situation many Lexington parents face:
Your child refuses to go to scheduled visits — maybe because of conflict, fear, or simply growing older and wanting more say.
But here’s the hard truth:
A child’s refusal alone is not enough to change a custody order.
South Carolina family courts must determine whether the refusal is based on genuine concerns or normal parent-child conflict, and whether a modification is necessary to protect the child’s wellbeing.
When Judges Take a Child’s Refusal Seriously
Judges don’t expect children to love every transition. But they do act when the refusal signals something deeper.
The court will pay close attention if:
- The child reports fear, unsafe conditions, or emotional harm
- The parent has a history of violence, substance abuse, or instability
- The child consistently refuses over time, not just once
- A therapist notes concerns impacting visits
- The child is older and more mature, typically around age 12 and up
In these cases, the court may order evaluations, supervision, or a temporary change in parenting time.
When Judges Do Not Allow a Custody Change
A judge is unlikely to modify custody if refusal is caused by:
- Normal separation anxiety
- Teenage moodiness or preference
- A parent’s permissiveness (“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to”)
- Minor disagreements or discipline issues
- A single isolated incident
Courts want children to maintain strong relationships with both parents whenever possible.
What Lexington Judges Look For
When reviewing a refusal-based custody request, judges consider:
- The child’s age and maturity
- The reason for the refusal
- Each parent’s ability to encourage a healthy relationship
- Reports from therapists, counselors, teachers, or guardians ad litem
- Whether either parent is influencing, pressuring, or alienating the child
If the court suspects a parent is contributing to the refusal, it may sanction that parent rather than modify custody.
What You Should Do If Your Child Refuses Visits
✔ Document everything
Record dates, comments, and behaviors without coaching or leading the child.
✔ Encourage your child to go
Judges look for genuine co-parenting efforts.
✔ Avoid negative discussions
Do not vent, blame, or undermine the other parent in front of your child.
✔ Seek help from a therapist
A licensed counselor’s observations carry weight in Lexington family court.
✔ Contact an attorney
They can advise whether your situation qualifies for a modification.
What You Should NOT Do
- Do NOT block visits on your own
- Do NOT tell your child they can choose
- Do NOT change the schedule without a court order
- Do NOT rely on verbal agreements
Only the court can change a custody order.
When Modification Is Possible
In South Carolina, custody can be modified when there is a substantial and material change in circumstances affecting the child’s best interests.
A child’s ongoing refusal may qualify if supported by:
- Safety concerns
- Emotional or psychological harm
- A GAL’s (Guardian ad Litem) findings
- Professional evaluations
- Documented patterns of distress
The key is showing the refusal reflects a real problem, not temporary resistance.
Quick FAQs
Can my child decide not to visit anymore?
No. Even older children cannot legally decide; the court must approve changes.
Will the judge punish me if my child refuses?
Not if you made genuine efforts to follow the order and kept the child safe.
Can I request supervised visitation?
Yes. If refusal is tied to safety or emotional concerns, the court may order it.
Final Thoughts
If your child is refusing visits and you’re unsure what to do next, call The Farley Law Firm today to schedule a confidential consultation. We help Lexington families protect their children while complying with South Carolina law.
Disclaimer
This information is for general education only and not legal advice. Schedule a consultation to discuss your case. Past results do not guarantee a similar outcome.